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Seasons

Saturday evening, as I was preparing supper, I was listening to Air 1 radio.  Switchfoot’s “Love is worth the fight” came on, and immediately, I was transported to Donetsk when I was introduced to their music and had several friends in Donetsk who loved their music.

I’m trying to find where my place is
I’m looking for my own oasis
So close I can taste this
The fear that love alone erases

All at once, memories flooded my mind.  I was taken back to December 2013.  I was staying in a home in Fort Worth, preparing for my return to Donetsk on January 3, 2014.  I was aware of the issues in Kyiv, but, having lived in UA as long as I had, I didn’t think too much about it.

So I’m back to the basics
I figure it’s time I face this
Time to take my own advice

Love alone is worth the fight
Love alone is worth the fight

Little did I know that my life in 2014 would take a big turn.  It is hard to believe that almost 5 years have passed.   So much has happened in those years.  Forced displacement, war in Ukraine, temporary life in Kyiv, move to Dnipro, cancer, return to Dnipro.

And we find what we’re made of
Through the open door
Is it fear you’re afraid of?

Recently I made a list of all the cities (and countries) I have lived in during the past 15 years (too many to list).  Soon, Dnipro will be the city where I have been the longest.  I guess one of the reasons it hasn’t felt like “home” is that I kept yearning to return to a place that I don’t think exists any longer.

We’re only here for a season
I’m looking for the rhyme and reason


Why you’re born, why you’re leaving
What you fear and what you believe in

Why you’re living and breathing
Why you’re fighting it and getting it even
Let’s go headed down the open road unknown

 I have heard (and know) all the clichés… home is where the heart is, bloom where you are planted…yet (and there is that word, yet…), aren’t there times in our lives when we just want to go back to what was thought as a simpler life, more stable?

We’re only here for a season…

How true are those words? They are even more meaningful to me after discovering that I had pancreatic cancer.  So, I will choose to live life as it comes.  And I won’t seek pity or wallow in it.

One of the best pieces of advice I received early on after knowing that my cancer was malignant 2B and in some nodes… “allow yourself to have a pity party for 5 minutes and then move on.”  Since that day, I have strived to do just that, although I will say that I haven’t had a need for one in some time!

I have just returned from having a thorough medical checkup in the US.  My surgeon gave me a clean bill of health and told me that I didn’t need to return to see him unless I had some problem.

I know that I am blessed! And, therefore, I will live each day as a present. I choose to love more each day, seek the blessings, and know that I am exactly where I need to be.  After all, as Switchfoot sings so eloquently…

Love alone is worth the fight.